How to Handle Difficult Behavior- And It May Be Your Own
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A simple and powerful way to change this dynamic is to put the spotlight back on the difficult person, and the easiest way to do so is to ask questions. Is that what you want? Let me know and I will decide if I want to stay or go. Keep your questions constructive and probing. By putting the difficult person in the spotlight, you can help neutralize her or his undue influence over you.
Disarm unreasonable and difficult behavior when correctly used. Problem rolls off your back.
Ten Keys to Handling Unreasonable & Difficult People | Psychology Today
Humor is a powerful communication tool. Years ago I knew a co-worker who was quite stuck up. Instead, she smiled good-naturedly and quipped: When appropriately used, humor can shine light on the truth, disarm difficult behavior, and show that you have superior composure. In my book click on title: In general, whenever two people are communicating, one is usually doing more leading, while the other is doing more following.
In healthy communication, two people would take turns leading and following. You can interrupt this behavior simply by changing the topic.
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As mentioned earlier, utilize questions to redirect the conversation. Reduce or eliminate harmful behavior. Increase confidence and peace of mind. The most important thing to keep in mind about bullies is that they pick on those whom they perceive as weaker, so as long as you remain passive and compliant, you make yourself a target.
Many bullies are also cowards on the inside. When their victims begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, the bully will often back down. This is true in schoolyards, as well as in domestic and office environments. On an empathetic note, studies show that many bullies are victims of violence themselves.
This in no way excuses bullying behavior, but may help you consider the bully in a more equanimous light. The classic bully was actually a victim first. It's the bully who's insecure. In cases of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse , consult with counseling , legal, law enforcement, or administrative professionals on the matter. Shift balance of power. Win respect and cooperation when appropriately applied. The ability to identify and assert consequence s is one of the most important skills we can use to "stand down" a difficult person.
Effectively articulated, consequence gives pause to the challenging individual, and compels her or him to shift from obstruction to cooperation. In conclusion, to know how to handle unreasonable and difficult people is to truly master the art of communication. As you utilize these skills, you may experience less grief, greater confidence, better relationships, and higher communication prowess.
You are on your way to leadership success! For more in-depth tools on how to effectively handle difficult individuals, see my books click on titles: For more information, write to commsuccess nipreston. All rights reserved worldwide.
Copyright violation may subject the violator to legal prosecution. It seems that I have the most difficult time with people who seems to want to control my life. It seems that people get upset when I speak to certain people or like someone they do not approve of. I hear everything negative about people simply because I have befriended them.
It gets worse when it comes to female because I catch it from both males and females. Here is an example, I was speaking to a female co-worker and a male co-worker walked up and starting laughing and then introduced himself to the female co-worker. His actions caused both of us to look at each other like what is wrong with this person.
This same male co-worker love to tell me of all the "relationships" female co-workers have had when he see me speaking to them. Never mind, he does not know what the conversation was about. Every female at work is out to set me up with their girlfriend regardless if I am attracted to that person or not. They want to build up that person in my eyes, but I make my own decisions when dealing with relationship and as I tell my co-workers I prefer to make that choice, but I am not on the time table that they want.
I can understand that they may not be happy, but they chose to put themselves in those marriages. I cannot understand how trying to control my life will make their better? I know life is not perfect so I do not expect a whole lot. If i am in a bad situation, I deal with it myself instead of blaming others. What you wrote was absolutely helpful, I chose to date someone I was in a band with knowing they were bipolar and even with that they used it as an excuse to be difficult and completely unreasonable so some of the things you said I have applied and will apply.
I broke up with him which made it worst even though I allowed him to stay in the band even after being name called and screamed at repeatedly. At this point I just wanna keep the peace until I can decide my next move so thank you so much for your article you are a life saver. Some great tips I agree. Problem is sometimes theory and practice aren't always compatible I find. I have experienced bullying myself is isn't easy to deal with.
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Some women can be very nasty likewise men can also have these traits. I have learnt not to bite the bait and come down to some people's levels. These type of people normally back away and stop the bullying of others. They are nasty people and need to get a life they are sad cases in most instances. Hi, So I have a young family and partner.. She happens to be an old friend of my Dads.
Her flat is situated behind ours.
Dealing with difficult behaviour
She started off very friendly and interacted with my daughters baby and school girl. Had heaps of helpful tips on gardening etc.. Gave us a hot dinner when we arrived back home late from holiday. But, lately she has become way too much. Over stating her mark. Always coming over to give us food, but just walking on in without me getting to the door. My baby had something in her mouth and she picked it out with her finger.. My partner and I are fed up. She questions my every word or she knows the answer to everything. Just don't know how to tell her to back off in a nice way.
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I had to work with an older woman no offense to those seniors because she had one chip on her shoulder with me. I never thought that people have work environments where evil wins. Always, always, always and always am protected by prayer because after meeting this demon is always a chore. Too bad because I liked my job and saw an opportunity it just pissed her off even more seeing me succeed. Some people will never know how to be happy internally and to clear everything up I want her to know since I can't say it to her face.
I won the fact that I can keep my integrity and happiness even though I am faced with these work environments that she brings bitterness within her own mind. Gosh I pray for you lady. With difficult acquaintances like friends, colleagues, lovers, or neighbors, you may have to deal with them for a time, either until a conflict between you is resolved, or until you are able to remove yourself from the situation. With family, we are almost obligated to go the extra mile for the sake of the integrity of the family group.
In other words, personal relationships may affect the family as a whole. Accept them exactly as they are. This applies to all difficult people, not just family. Sometimes this works, but often your efforts will not be rewarded. Accept that they are unable to change, at least at that point in time. Know that a person who is trying to stir up conflict can easily set you off emotionally, and even physically, possibly raising your heart rate and blood pressure.
Try to prevent getting into a fight-or-flight response, which inevitably leads to becoming defensive. You do not want an argument or heated discussion. Stay true to yourself, grounded in your own integrity. Be direct and assertive when you express yourself.
Is that what you want? Surround yourself with people you get along with, supportive people who care about you, people who are there to enjoy time together. Accept that they are unable to change, at least at that point in time. Get agreement about a plan of action, and commitment on both your parts to follow through. But if you look at the anatomy of a conflict, you can see how these often play out. What's the Solution for a Coddled American Mind? That's the last thing a difficult person in the heat-of-the-moment needs in an emotionally-charged situation.
Stay focused on how you respond. If it gets to this point, stop the interaction, and leave the conversation.
Obviously, before the conversation has gotten out of hand as above! What do they feel people misunderstand about them? What do they want or expect from others? The idea is to try to remain as neutral as possible. Know what these topics are, and be extremely aware when these are brought up. Your past experiences should help you, especially when you are confronted with these delicate subjects.
Be prepared to either address these issues in a direct, non-confrontational way or to deflect the conflict if the atmosphere becomes too heated. History and experiences should tell you that these subjects should be avoided at all costs. But if you look at the anatomy of a conflict, you can see how these often play out.