Why People Have Delayed Marriage
Contents:
The average person likes to dwell among calm, optimistic people who see life in a pleasant light and emit an air of tranquil happiness. A person like this must work on improving his trust in G-d and on being a happier human being.
Delayed Marriage- An Introduction
A person who is seeking a lofty spiritual life on the inside, but is living a materialistic life on the outside especially if his outward appearance seems spiritually low , he will have a very difficult time finding a match. The reason is simple. He or she is looking around and saying to himself: And he is right. He will never be happy with someone who does not match his spiritual level. What he does not realize however is that he is trapping himself; he is looking for his partner in a place where he or she can never be found. But on the other hand, girls who are on a higher spiritual plane, are not prepared, and rightly so, to marry a person who is on a lower level than they are.
And since, realistically speaking, most young people today are on either spiritual extreme, that leaves a very small selection of good, quality people on the middle level to choose from. Climb up to a higher level. The person must exercise his inner spiritual drive by actively doing all that is proper according to the Torah of the Creator. And thus, besides for the substantial benefit associated with walking on the true path, he will also find himself standing on a higher floor with a larger selection of suitable candidates to choose from. And that is where he will find the most fitting one with whom he will share a good and happy life.
This is commonly seen among young, intelligent women who have a strong, assertive personality that can easily be mistaken for one that is controlling or domineering.
Even men who seem overly dominant or aggressive may find themselves being rejected by girls who want gentle and considerate husbands. For women however, the situation is more involved, as men usually expect their wives to be gentle, soft-natured and feminine in comparison to them, and are afraid to marry someone whose patterns of behavior are not delicate enough for their taste. To carefully study the characteristic differences between men and women, and willingly meet the true emotional needs of each side as explained in the previous chapters.
A chicken-or-the-egg phenomenon, one might ask which factors and consequences of delayed marriage among young adults are truly first. Rabbi Zamir Cohen explains the main causes of delay, and provides both natural and spiritual solutions. Main Family Dating Dating Causes for Delayed Marriage In our generation, the number of people awaiting marriage is very large relative to the number of those in previous generations. Shehan , a sociology professor at the University of Florida. What men consider as love is respect and value. Willoughby shared his perspective from tracking the shift in marriage attitudes among young adults: Especially when prayer connects man to his Creator, and serves as a conduit to draw down spiritual and material abundance.
And if the person is aware of his rigid personality, and has a tendency to be controlling, he must work on becoming more respectful towards others. He must also improve his humility in the proper way. As we know, according to the Torah of Israel, every Jew is obligated to maintain his sanctity. Therefore, a male may not touch a female, and a female may not touch a male before they are married according to Jewish law. Most people are unaware of the added benefit that accompanies the wonderful virtues associated with this dating method.
A couple that guards itself properly and takes care not to touch one another before marriage, is a couple that can objectively examine their compatibility level without being persuaded by physicality. And so, without losing valuable time, they reach a positive or negative conclusion about their relationship.
Their conclusions are drawn from conversations that are pleasant, honest and to the point. If they both feel that they can live together happily, they do not wait too long before they set a date for the wedding.
Do Young People Delay Marriage Because They Value It?
And if they do not feel that they are compatible, they respectfully part ways in search of a better suited partner. This way they do not waste valuable time and attain the goal of marriage more quickly.
And again, the years go by, their youthful vigor and resilience begins to weaken, and the difficulty of finding the right partner becomes increasingly complex. Resolving to observe the laws of physical contact. However, we must remember that G-d had created a pure heart for the man and a pure heart for the woman with the intention that one day they will get married and their two hearts will interlock and remain happily intertwined forever. And if the break-ups were painful and difficult - as they usually are, he may then lose faith in relationships altogether.
And at times, it only takes one severe break-up to cripple the person emotionally, or at the very least, make him resemble a person who has gone through a painful divorce. Although it is not easy to mend a broken heart, and is even harder to repair a heart that is wilted and scarred, it is still possible to heal a large part of it.
Through the power of daily Torah classes and a gradual change of lifestyle, the heart can be purified and renewed in a way where the difficult past will seem like a distant memory from a different lifetime, and this is all because the person has now been reborn. The opportunity should be taken at this time, to warn against the overly lenient upbringing in Israel these days, which greatly damages the spiritual state of the Jewish nation, particularly the youth who are affected not only in their eternal life, but in this world as well.
But they do not realize that regardless of who they choose to marry, compromise is inevitable. While it is true that some matters should never be compromised, there are others that must certainly be compromised or even relinquished completely. This refers to a person who is kind. Someone who knows how to control himself during a fit of anger and one who respects his fellow man. The character traits of the person in question should not be determined by the way he acts with the person he is dating. After all, a person who is interested in his date, will obviously be respectful to her, but his real personality will only be revealed after the wedding.
Instead, his character traits should be examined based on the way he acts with his friends, acquaintances, parents and siblings, and with people he runs into by accident. Fault Finding Do you always find fault on what people do and defend your wrongs? You are never wrong others should bear the blames. Shifting blames and not taking responsibility for good and bad is a quality of fault finders. This attitude can or will certainly get you later than expected in marriage.
Be careful to cast blames. How do we correct it should be your focus. Insincerity All men love sincere ladies, they resent pretentious ones. If you lie, you will be often discovered. But if it continues then be sure you are employing the devil to help you in that lateness to marriage. Pride and Arrogance Pride and arrogance is associated with the male. But that too is distasteful much less a woman who is not respectful, humane or meek. What men consider as love is respect and value.
So you can stop this delay. It is very easy to live under the same roof with someone and not have any conversations about plans for the future. A chicken-or-the-egg phenomenon, one might ask which factors and consequences of delayed marriage among young adults are truly first. But if young people truly value marriage, might they be more inclined to know more about the person to whom they plan to make a gift of self? Marital satisfaction doesn't have to decline when children are in the picture. Parents can choose how they will respond to the challenge. Every marriage has challenges.
Daily Marriage Tip
The good news is there are many dedicated staff willing to work with you and your spouse Open your heart to the needs of your spouse. For Your Marriage is here to support you! Marriage Unique for a Reason. USCCB assumes no responsibility for these websites, their content, or their sponsoring organizations.
The Truth About Divorce Statistics. Signs of a Successful Relationship Want a good relationship? Look for these signs. View Previous Marriage Tips.