The Pain Of My Happiness

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There are times when happiness can hurt deep, and does so indeed. But, more than how it brings pain, it matters how do we know when it can? The 4 Pains of Happiness. How would you feel if you were all too happy all your waking hours? In fact, you were so busy being happy and having frantic thrills that you hardly sleep more than 2—3 hours a day? In reality, there is a dangerous mental illness called Bipolar disorder. In this, the patients suffer from extreme mood swings. They go from one pole to the opposite pole of the happiness meridian, that is, from mania to depression.

In such times, they show:. They walk around restless, bursting with high energy.

All the while making countless grand plans staying awake for almost 20 hours a day. A trainload of thoughts and ideas race around at lightning speeds inside their heads. A person in a manic episode is deep into pleasureful acts. Now, most of their such acts often carry painful after-effects. They are into doing only those things that give them pleasure, whatever the cost or danger.

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They go on limitless shopping binges well, as much as their credit cards allow. They eat like a pig and revel in sexual recklessness. You have to come across just one such hapless person, and it will redefine your whole idea of happiness. Their happiness will make you sad. They get into high risk behaviors as heavy drinking, binge eating, relentless dancing, sexual leching, and drug abusing. This happiness hurts the most. Bertrand Russell called it intoxication of power. But you and I may call it being drunk on power. You might have come across this famous quote:.

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That quote by Sir John Acton provides a fair idea of what hubris is. Lord Acton further said: Hubristic people find pleasure treating others with meanness and mockery. Persons of hubristic attitude usually come from the ruling, governmental, political or high-wealth class. In fact, many of us believe that all politicians and their wealthy cronies are hubristic. The best known researcher on hubris is David Owen. He was a former Foreign Secretary in UK government, a neurologist, and a psychiatrist.

The 4 Emotional Pains of Happiness

He coined the term Hubris Syndrome. Such a person finds happiness in exercising his power to put down others. In milder forms, this takes the shape of needless or worthless pride, alongside shortage of empathy, and leads to aggressive and antisocial behavior towards others. This is the happiness that hurts others. Would you believe if I told you that happiness has a link with loneliness? Because we have always believed that the more happy a person is, the more friends that person has. So there I was, in my early forties, a successful makeup artist in the film industry.

But there I was, a middle aged woman who, at the very core of her being, despised herself. My life revolved around constant deprivation, spending money recklessly, and allowing myself to be in a controlling, verbally abusive relationship.

I was a forty-four-year-old zombie. One day I heard the familiar voice of my husband yelling at me. Normally I would tune it out and accept the misery of it, but this time I noticed my six-year-old daughter was listening. What I saw in her expressions to this woke me up.

Happiness hurts in real psychological ways

I slowly allowed feelings of anger, vulnerability, fear, and helplessness to come in, without giving them power over myself. I got better at setting boundaries with friends and men.

With the help of an amazing therapist, I did a great amount of work on myself and attracted a kind, loving man into my life. He made it safe for me to talk about the shame and guilt I had around my body and food. One day I hit a wall. In two years I had lost twenty pounds, gained twenty-five, lost thirty, and gained thirty-five.

My best friend, food, had become my worst enemy, and my body was paying the price. So I did something crazy: I allowed myself to stop all the constant chatter that was in my head.

I sat quietly and let myself feel. I wanted to run, shut it off, and go back to being miserably numb, but somehow I knew this is where it needed to end, right where it began. By not judging my feelings, by not making them right or wrong or giving them power over me, I learned to simply use them as a gauge for what I needed in that very moment.

I was now able to love my body no matter what the number on the scale was because I was no longer controlling my body as a distraction from my feelings. I learned to not fight the feeling of being uncomfortable and to just accept it. I also allowed myself to be vulnerable around my husband by sharing my feelings about my body and the shame I had felt.

His loving support allowed me to feel safe to express my feelings openly without worrying he would leave me. It also allowed me to finally feel all the beauty in my life without worrying it would all go away. For so long I thought once I weighed a certain amount or had a certain amount of money I would feel whole. But you see, I had it backward. Once I allowed myself to just sit and feel, I could finally hear what was really missing in my life: One of the easiest ways to increase your tolerance for pain and discomfort is to remember your higher purpose and the meaning it will give your life.

That meaning, in turn, will increase your happiness. Thus the best way to deal with the inevitable pain of life is to take on a worthwhile project Including some healthy pleasures in your daily life will also add to your happiness and help you "whistle while you work.

Why There's Pain in Happiness | Psychology Today UK

So, there's pain in happiness, and I don't just mean the letters, p-a-i-n. The next time you see a happy person, remember That person has felt, or is feeling, some pain.

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He or she has simply practiced tolerating it in search of a greater happiness. Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! For updates on health, happiness, and habit change, follow her on Twitter or Facebook. The final lines leaves me wistful: I read your blog with great interest and appreciation. Especially interesting to me was the section on happiness and bipolar--yes, it would be miserable to be that happy all the time!

Thanks so much for letting me know about your blog and site. I'm very happy you were inspired by this topic! These quotes show the many faces of confidence.

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