Is Marriage for White People? How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone

A distinguished Stanford law professor examines the steep decline in marriage rates among the African American middle class, and offers a paradoxical-nearly incendiary-solution. Black women are three times as likely as white women to never marry. That sobering statistic reflects a broader reality: African Americans are the most unmarried people in our nation, and contrary to public perception the racial gap in marriage is not confined to women or the poor.

Black men, particularly the most successful and affluent, are less likely to marry than their white counterparts. College educated black women are twice as likely as their white peers never to marry. Is Marriage for White People? This book centers on the experiences not of men or of the poor but of those black women who have surged ahead, even as black men have fallen behind.

Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone

Theirs is a story that has not been told. Empirical evidence documents its social significance, but its meaning emerges through stories drawn from the lives of women across the nation. At the core of the inquiry is a paradox substantiated by evidence and experience alike: My parents have been married for 31 years. My grandparents were married for 49 years before my grandmother passed away.

Is Marriage for White People? by Ralph Richard Banks | donnsboatshop.com

My brother has been married for 11 years. My younger cousin mids just got engaged this year, and another cousin got married a couple of weeks ago.

Mixed marriages was the chapter that really hit home for me. All my single ladies there is nothing new here you haven't heard before; basically marry up, marry light or White , and marry out of your racial, social, or cultural background. October Learn how and when to remove this template message. And I definitely have to disagree with Brad Pitt not having swag. Oct 29, Bethany Thomas rated it liked it. Open Preview See a Problem? College educated black women are twice as likely as their white peers never to marry.

So the idea of a book titled "Is Marriage for White People? The title is tricky. While it catches readers' attention, the subtitle "How the African-American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone" is more the focus of the book. Author Ralph Richard Banks surveyed approximately people, some more than once, to find out their take on black marriage, black women as single parents, interracial marriage, how biracial children affect families, the misguided belief about there being more black men in prison that in college, and "marrying down" — marrying a man who is not in the same economic or education class as his wife.

The only weakness I found in the entire read was that it had the same voice of something and something black women complaining about why they're not married that you can read in many relationship books geared towards an African-American audience. Although I can sympathize with the issues this group has dealt with, I wanted to hear from the quieter voice: But even Banks knew that this book was heavy on black women in their 30s and 40s.

In the afterword he writes, "Men would answer questions, but women would answer and then elaborate at length.

How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone.
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Is Marriage for White People? by Ralph Richard Banks.

I also found that the interviews with women in their late thirties and older were richer and more nuanced than interviews with younger women. For those who are unfamiliar with the experiences that this group has with dating, their opinions will be informative and interesting.

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For those who are very familiar with the "obstacles" these women face, it may be a bit draining to read their conclusions again. But unlike many current relationship books, Banks did something that many black men who have written relationship advice did not.

He encouraged interracial relationships, and he realizes this isn't common. He writes, "As I researched this book, I was surprised to hear so many black men state without the least bit of doubt or equivocation that only black men are attracted to black women. If my discussions with black men are any indication, many black men believe that black women have no choice but to remain with black men.

Discussion

He went on to explain that even when black women discussed white co-workers or friends who were interested in them, they had various reasons for not pursuing the relationships, mainly that they either felt a certain loyalty to not leaving black men behind or that they weren't convinced that white men truly were attracted to them.