Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships

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I was a member of a martial arts "school" for over twenty years and as a result of without ever realizing it became indoctrinated into a life style that cost me just about everything I had! Not so much financially, but as a person. I never questioned the "master" because to do so was seen as sacreligious. Only by realizing the truth about it all have I hagan to search for the solution.

This book was written as though my experience was the guideline for its inception and the authors insight and help have made it possible to recover and move on with my life. I could not possibly stress the importance of reading this book if you or someone you know has been in a cult or fallen prey to "wolves in sheep's clothing"! What made me buy the book was that it was the first time I'd seen a book talk about one on one and family cult relationships, not to mention personality disorders.

I believe there needs to be more research along those lines.

It is core to who many criminals are, to how we punish people, and is how many of our leaders got to where they are. What I didn't like right off the bat was the formatting for Kindle was not done professionally, so I was going to deduct a star for that and mention it for the Kindle version only The opinions expressed in the book seemed pretty much on the money, but it didn't feel very scholarly or backed up by hard research.

I was going to give the author a break on that, until about a quarter through the book, Janja referred people to the website of a convicted criminal who is a diagnosed narcissist according to his Wikipedia page. Many cults create fronts that look anti cult but are far from it. Therefore if something is presented as a somewhat scholarly work, in the way this book is, the bar is high. There are people who are suffering severely, who have been mentally abused for years, many physically so you better get your research right. By sending people for help to the wrong resources, either Janja is complicit, or else just a bad researcher.

Either way, as soon as I saw that, I stopped trusting in this book or this author and decided not to read anymore. I hope an updated version of the book will correct the mistake, but for now, I give it 1 star. Few understand the power of the cult-behavior which has inflicted our social portrait in America.

Most people believe that only so-named cults are perpetrating such control behaviors, but it reaches into individual families, into church leadership, and into all strata of out of balance personal relationships. This is a way to check yourself, or a loved one, and to develop anti-venom to begin to be free. This book has been incredibly helpful in recovering from the cultic relationship I was in 4 years ago.

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It's quite reassuring to read it and find detailed examples of all your experiences. As cult survivors, we often doubt the validity of our memories. This book will explain what happened to you, how to cope, and give you clear steps and guidance towards healing. This book is a must read for anyone recovering for leaving a cult, or an abusive relationship.

I've read many books on this subject matter, is this one is by far one of the best. Identifying a cult, or a mind-controlling environment is always a simple matter, and more so leaving a high-demand or controlling group. Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias did a marvelous job, leading the reader through the process of healing and understanding the hardships and pain they've been through, helping them cope with the introduction to a new life style and a completely foreign and new environment.

Take Back Your Life: Recover from Cults, Abusive Relationships | Apologetics Index

I can't stress enough how beneficial this book was for me, it was shocking to read how my experience was so similar to so many, and how many of the symptoms I've been dealing with are known psychological effects in the field of cultic studies. Reading this book is almost like a having a close friend holding your hand and guiding you through your own healing process and opening your eyes to the reclaiming your freedom and your choices in life. Chock full of useful information for the personal exposed to a cultic group or a cultic relationship.

Masterfully written and complete, touching all the bases of recovery. Recommended for anyone needing to recover and restore from any type of abuse. Right on target, balanced and healthful advice.

It is the first recovery book that I read, and it is remarkable. Comprehensive and pragmatic discussion of how to deal with problems after exiting. See all 28 reviews. See all customer images. Most people do not like to think of their family as a cult, and they will rationalize away inner suspicions or fend off criticisms or observations by relatives and friends. One important factor to keep in mind is that abuse does not have to be physical.

In many cases it may be verbal or emotional.

This seemingly less severe abuse often leads the victim to doubt her reaction because she is not being physically attacked and may not be able to explain the abuse to herself or others. Tagged with abuse , cults , cults and abuse , dv , Emotional abuse , human rights , Protective Mothers Alliance International , women's issues. You are commenting using your WordPress.

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There are people who are suffering severely, who have been mentally abused for years, many physically so you better get your research right. By sending people for help to the wrong resources, either Janja is complicit, or else just a bad researcher.

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Either way, as soon as I saw that, I stopped trusting in this book or this author and decided not to read anymore. I hope an updated version of the book will correct the mistake, but for now, I give it 1 star. May 07, Sarah rated it really liked it.

Take Back Your Life

This book is written primarily for those who are recovering from cults and abusive relationships, but also for those who have friends and family members who are in cults or abusive relationships to help them understand what is going on. I was personally interested in it because I was brought up in a rather cultish church and I could certainly identify with a great deal that the authors wrote about. It's an excellent read, easy to follow but very indepth.

Although it does cover abusive one-to-one This book is written primarily for those who are recovering from cults and abusive relationships, but also for those who have friends and family members who are in cults or abusive relationships to help them understand what is going on. Although it does cover abusive one-to-one relationships briefly, its main content is directed at those who are cult survivors who are basically in an abusive relationship with a group or the leader of a group.

It doesn't just look at the experiences of those who have come from relgious cults, but also from family cults, new age cults, eastern cults, political cults, psychotherapy cults and even marketing cults. I found it very helpful to identify how I perceive boundaries and how I allow other people's emotions or my perception of other people's emotions to control my thinking and behaviour.

It helped me to see that this kind of thinking is merely indoctrination and is not necessarily part of my natural personality. That was a rather freeing discovery. The book also has useful indictors of what a cult is and how normal, healthy, intelligent people can be indoctrinated and 'brain-washed' by cults and cult leaders. It answers the age old question that cult survivors ask and interested parties ask: Towards the end of the book, the authors look at helpful and unhelpful counselling.

This is an important aspect of cult recovery. A cult survivor really doesn't need another 'guru' to control or 'guide' them in any way - even a well-meaning counsellor. The book describes the possible pitfalls of certain types of counselling and warns that some counsellors may not understand enough about cult dynamics to be helpful.

Overall a very good book. My only real criticism is that I think it would be better to have dealt with one-to-one abusive relationships in a separate book, that section felt rushed. Although, on the other hand, I did find it helpful to look at how a cult is really just like an abusive relationship. I particularly enjoyed reading the survivors stories that were included. In all, a very interesting read. Jul 08, Pierre S. Now, add to the problem, that you are virtually penniless at the time- and are afraid to talk to anyone in the group which has now earned your ambivilence. How are you going to get help?

Further, suppose you get out somehow, how are you going to deal with the trauma caused by twenty-six years of cult captivity? The answer is information, information composed by knowledgeable people, perhaps most helpfully with experience in exit counselling, people like Steven Hassan, Margaret Thaler Singer and the two ladies who wrote this book, Janja Lalich and Madeline Tobias. Although I did interact with an exit counselor at some point after I left AMORC, the group that I have personally written about extensively, at the time there was no funding for regular counseling- so I derived most of my information from the Internet and books.

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